I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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