I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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