If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
