meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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