actually, I'm a sock model
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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