guys are only as good as the porn they watch
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
