that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
