ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
