So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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