you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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