In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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