I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize