how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize