While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
