I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
