Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize