why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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