cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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