I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
