i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize