maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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