and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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