Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
