Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college