i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your penis caused this!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
