WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
