At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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