PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
