a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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