It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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