her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
