what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
