So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
