Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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