I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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