Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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