You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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