I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize