they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
