what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
