what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
whose parrot is this?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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