the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
