I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
