no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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