; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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