My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
