No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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