: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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