Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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