You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
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I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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