I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
