I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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