so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
