so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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