You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
