I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
