Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize