i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I am mentally ready for anal.
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